Having no boundaries - why does it happen? + Quiz

We live in a time that is so uncertain and the requirements of employees from employers can become boundless.

I have seen so many CEOs and business leaders scream against worker's rights to choose whether they work from home or are in the office that it infuriates me. Another thing that angers me is the constant publishing of articles that have titles such as ''Why your team must get back to the office'' and others like ''Working from home is a bliss everyone should stick to''. Why? Because realistically any studies and arguments exist in a vacuum of their own. People are very different, jobs are diverse too and for some sectors and people - it is great to be able to work from home, or anywhere in the world and for others - it's a nightmare of a blur between work and personal life.

So, if we are to have a healthy conversation and consider that we are different and different things work for different people, we need to focus on Boundaries and people's individuality - not cookie-cutter arguments.

Pressure at work and in one's business may make you feel like your job is all-consuming and you have no control over it. And the thing is more often than not - you feel like there's nothing you can do about it - This is how it is. - you tell yourself.

But the reality is that there are many reasons why you may feel like you can draw healthy boundaries with your work - regardless of whether you're employed or running your own business.

Here are some of them worth exploring and reflecting on for yourself.

People pleasing

People pleasing is often cited as one of the main reasons for having no boundaries. When you're a people pleaser, it can be difficult to draw the line between work and home. You may find yourself working long hours or taking on extra projects in order to please your boss or co-workers or if you're running a business - you may be caught in the pleasing of your clients or customers and even your team. This can quickly lead to a complete imbalance between work and home life.

If you're always putting others first, you'll never have time for yourself. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, and even depression.

People pleasing is often rooted in low self-esteem or a need for approval from others. If this is something that resonates with you, it's important to start working on building up your own sense of self-worth. Spend time doing things that make YOU happy, not just things that will make other people happy. When you start seeing yourself as worthy, it becomes much easier to set firm limits with others about what is acceptable behaviour towards you at work (or anywhere else).

People pleasers are often underpaid and they rarely push for salary increases, bonuses, rewards, work benefits, more holidays or anything else. Their worth is tied to making sure they don't rock the boat and stay on people's good side. I've known too many business owners that don't pay themselves even a living wage. They keep living on the bare minimum while continuously investing in their enterprise.

Here are a few books I'd highly recommend to help you reflect on your relationship with your self-worth and your net worth too:

Worthy: Boost Your Self-Worth to Grow Your Net Worth by Nancy Levin

Another big reason why people blur the lines between work and personal life is that they are...

Avoiding their own problems, busying themselves with others and other things

Why do we busy ourselves with others? One of the main reasons could be that we don’t want to face our own problems. Work can act as a form of escapism from what might be happening in our lives. This can grow into workaholism, which I'll discuss further in the article, but let's focus on this one for now.

This avoidance is especially strong when another person or thing seem like they need you more than you need them, but this can also happen in any situation where a person feels that they have something to offer someone else.

In a time of financial crisis - companies cut the staff and yet, more often than not they don't cut enough of the work and projects. Instead, they just push the extra load onto the remaining staff. And being that helpful person who is willing to skip dinners with the family, work on their birthday overtime, and not say ''No'' to any new request for work from colleagues or bosses or even the (perceived) needs of one's business is a recipe that serves one's desire to self-abandon, self-neglect and self-avoid.

This often happens when someone is going through tough times themselves and finds comfort in helping others instead. But this behaviour can also result from low self-esteem or feeling worthless; like you have nothing better to offer than your service to others.

Then there are those who use other people as an emotional crutch because they lack intimacy skills or are afraid of genuine connection. So instead, busying themselves with friends/family/co-workers keeps them distracted and entertained enough so that they don’t have to focus on developing healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with life stressors until one day it’s too late and realize all boundaries have been blurred beyond recognition!

And all of this storm can lead to Workaholism - where your drive to work, be busy etc. is a compulsion - you don't have control over it - work is just your life now. Be it 6 am or 8 pm - you're switched on for anything work, colleagues, bosses, employees, clients, business partners etc. need from you.

When I hear people say ''Call me anytime'' to people from work - I see this as a massive red flag indicating they likely don't have boundaries.

Workaholism

When you are a workaholic, your life revolves around your job and everything in it. Workaholics are obsessed with their jobs and feel drawn to them for hours on end, often working at home as well as at the office. If you're unsure whether you're a workaholic or simply hard-working - we have a Quiz on the BinBurnout.com website that will help you find out - link here.

A workaholic is someone who compulsively works long hours and neglects other aspects of their life, such as their health, relationships, and hobbies. Workaholism is often praised in our society. We view it as a positive trait to be passionate about one's work and to always put work first. However, there are many negative consequences to being a workaholic. We have articles on how it affects one's family, sex life, health and more - just browse the Resources page on our website.

People who are addicted to working often have trouble enjoying leisure activities or taking breaks because they feel guilty for not being productive. They may start turning down invitations from friends so that they don't have to waste time socializing! As a result, work becomes the only thing that gives them pleasure or satisfaction. This narrow perspective can make life very unfulfilling outside of the office. This is why work Boundaries don't even exist in the life of a workaholic - the emotional need to be switched on means there's no division between professional and personal life.

Ready to Test Your Boundaries Strength?

Feeling pulled in every direction and not sure where your limits lie? Take our quick 12-question quiz below to pinpoint exactly how strong—and healthy—your boundaries really are. You’ll get a personalized snapshot of where you stand, plus actionable insights on reclaiming your time, energy, and peace of mind.

How can you create healthy boundaries between work and home?

Time is money - yes, but time is also life. Any minute you live and do - is a part of your life. And to have healthy boundaries between work and home, we need to start by setting realistic expectations for both spheres.

Understand that work is a necessary part of your professional life, but don’t feel obligated to put in long hours at the office. Likewise, don’t expect your home to be turned into your workplace – be mindful of your time and energy, and set limits on how much you’re willing to invest in it.

Make sure you know what your spouse and your workplace expect from your time at home and work and be open to discussing any changes or updates that may need to be made.

There are many reasons why people do not set boundaries, but the most important thing is to recognize that you need to. If you feel like your work-life balance is out of control, it's time to do something about it.

In the course I created on beating burnout and workaholism there are a few really important chapters that help you learn and design a life that is lived fully, with boundaries that satisfy your needs and offer you a balanced and fulfilling life. You can learn about the course, explore the chapters and dive in on the Grindless.life website - link here.

And if you like this content, make sure you subscribe to the blog and get notifications when we publish new and helpful materials, quizzes and resources on a wide variety of well-being topics covering:

• burnout,

• workaholism,

• perfectionism,

• imposter syndrome,

• how these lead to high turnover at companies,

• costly errors at work, and on the more personal side of things -

• how childhood trauma along with social structures and norms lead us to have poor work-life boundaries,

• what are the family dynamics in workaholics’ homes,

• how our bodies, relationships and intimate lives are affected by our working habits

• and more….