3 Reasons why getting out of the rat race is so difficult for workaholics

1. Identity is super tied up to work and professional achievements

Workaholics often find it difficult to get out of the rat race because their identity is so closely tied to their work and professional achievements. They define themselves by their job title, their salary, and their position in the corporate hierarchy. They believe that their worth as a person is directly linked to their success at work.

Often this is a result of trauma in our lives, and it has to do with how we perceive ourselves, how we relate to others, what fears drive us and so much more. I will recommend the articles covering trauma, avoidant and attachment styles, perfectionism and imposter syndrome.

The problem is this can lead to a vicious cycle, where the workaholic feels they have to keep working harder and harder just to stay in the same place. They're afraid to take a break, take a vacation, or even retire because they think it will all come crashing down if they're not working. Well, this is where we get trapped in the rat race. For us, to keep up our social status and identity, we need to keep going on at full speed.

There is a favourite quote of mine from The Red Queen in ''Through the Looking Glass'' where she teaches Alice an important life lesson that many of us fail to understand, that put in this frame about workaholism really depicts our (workaholics') struggle with stuckness in the rat race.

If you're a workaholic, it's time to take a break - yes. Work is not going to disappear from your life, but it does need to be balanced with other interests and activities - we all know this. But for us workaholics we have tons of reasons why getting out of the rat race is so difficult for us and in this article, I will put a spotlight on three of them.

just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.' - The Red Queen in ''Through the Looking Glass'' by Lewis Carroll

The truth that we all know on a cognitive level is that our worth as human beings is not tied to our work. We are so much more than our jobs. But it can be hard to remember that when our identity is so closely linked to our work. And it can be hard to detach and get out of the rat race when its gravitational pull is so overwhelming, as it gives us so much sense of who we are, and what our purpose is and emotionally feel valued, valuable and worthy.

This leads us to explore the next reason why we need to run to stay in one place from an economic point of view.

2. Our lifestyle may have become too expensive and unsustainable unless we continue to work as hard

When money comes flowing what people often forget is, that they often get trapped in a vicious cycle of fake materialistic happiness. There are always new trends to keep up with and expensive items to purchase. For a workaholic, it can be difficult to break out of the rat race when their entire lifestyle is based on having the latest and greatest.

It can be easy to get caught up in the materialism of a high-class lifestyle and forget what's truly important. Workaholics often have a hard time enjoying life outside of work because they're always thinking about what they need to do to maintain their image.

Is it worth our time and energy to continue working so hard just to keep up with the Joneses? Or would we be happier if we took a more relaxed approach to life and focused on enjoying the moment?

Honest answers to some of these questions might lead a workaholic to truly break apart from the rat race.

However, I know people who have families that are now used to this high-class lifestyle and will put up a fight if anything is to change and rock the comfortable yacht they are on. Hence it will be important for a workaholic to be supported by their family in making choices that will give them their time and life back without the threat of upset to the family dynamics. Families must be very mindful of the fact that many workaholics' worst nightmare would be to be abandoned by their close ones - they've built their lives in ways that keep their close ones comfortable enough so they don't leave the workaholic.

I must say - external support is very much needed with this part of the journey - and the course I created has a few very vital chapters on this whole process of communication, boundaries setting, changes being made and more. To see the chapters and video explaining each one in the course - visit this link.

3. The perceived need to keep appearances - being perceived as hard-working and successful

When you're a workaholic, it's easy to get caught up in the perceived need to keep appearances. You're always trying to prove yourself and show how hard-working and successful you are. But this can actually make it harder for you to get out of the whole cycle - once again because your identity and self-worth are so connected to your work.

People who are perceived as hard workers and successful are usually under a lot of pressure. They feel like they have to keep up their image and maintain their standards. This can be very stressful and exhausting. It can also lead to burnout - we have plenty of articles on the connection between workaholism and burnout on the site, make sure you check out the blog if you're interested.

The reality is that the rat race can be a trap for many people. The pressure of success and prestige, coupled with identity issues, and problematic workaholic behaviours, may make it very difficult to leave the rat race behind.

Staying in the rat race is also an emotion-driven choice

However, every person has their own reasons why they choose to stay in this cycle of overwork and exhaustion. And I am the last person who would encourage you to push your workaholic partner to change if they're not interested or ready. They are your partner - not a project, not something you're responsible for. They are their own person and master.

It's important not to judge others too harshly if they struggle with these issues - everyone deserves some space in life where they can relax without feeling guilty about their lack of boundaries at work!

The key to opening someone's mind and heart to hear you out as to how their workaholism is impacting your relationship is by showing curiosity about their drive, listening carefully without judgement and asking them to problem-solve for themselves.

Nobody wants change forced upon them. If you feel you want to share this article with a workaholic in your life, make sure to share it and explain you're only curious and trying to learn about them and be of support to them.

Want to stop being a workaholic?

Well, here's a simple invite - explore my Grindless.Life/course and see how I can help you bring more joy, fun, pleasure and happiness in your life through the steps and support I crafted (initially for myself).

If you found this article interesting and helpful and want more such content, be sure to subscribe to our blog! We’ll continue posting new blogs on a wide variety of well-being topics covering:

• burnout,

• workaholism,

• perfectionism,

• imposter syndrome,

• how these lead to high turnover at companies,

• costly errors at work, and on the more personal side of things -

• how childhood trauma along with social structures and norms lead us to have poor work-life boundaries,

• what are the family dynamics in workaholics’ homes,

• how our bodies, relationships and intimate lives are affected by our working habits

• and more….